Thursday, 8 August 2013

WHY AM I OVERWEIGHT?

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A personal post today! I’m not sure why i’m feeling keen to bring this to you today. Probably continued annoyance at that idiot Katie Hopkins. I want to talk about struggling with weight.
I was very surprised when I entered the fashion and beauty industry, and started the digital title Twinkle Style & Travel Magazine, just how accepting of overweight people it was. The media portrays the fashion and beauty industry as being all about a stick thin figure; but i’ve been welcolmed amongst equally overweight people without a second glance.
I am overweight, and i’m sure by medical definition, obese. Do I want to be this weight? No. I like the way I look more when I am slimmer. Have I tried to do something about it? Yes. I’ve gone from a size 20 to a size 12 three times in the past eight years. Comfort eating puts the weight back up again. I’ve tried personal trainers, hypnotists, psychologists, Alli, Weight Watchers, Power Plate…the list goes on. Nothing, however, has been able to take away my severe anxiety disorder and depression. Even with my psychiatrist-prescribed medication which keeps me more or less on an even keel, the only thing that helps comfort me in difficult situations is food.
Now, I could just force myself to not eat the cake. Or at least only eat one slice of it instead of the whole thing; and sometimes I manage. But when my mood is so so low, or I am incredibly anxious, that cake helps. People call anxiety ‘butterflies’. Well imagine them being 20-stone butterflies with hammers and swords, and you should get the idea. The feeling of a full stomach eases the feeling of anxiety. At least it’s not illegal drugs or cigarettes that are my crutch.
I guess what i’m trying to say is that there are more reasons for being overweight than people (and the ignorant Katie Hopkins) thinks. It’s not always about just being lazy and greedy…

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