2020 has been a bit of a rubbish year for most people, but for those in difficult or toxic relationships it’s been even harder. You could have planned to get out of a relationship and split up in early 2020; but then the lockdowns and quarantines suddenly made any planning beyond survival not achieveable. Being locked down together when you’re in an unhappy relationship is not an easy situation to be in. Especially if there is emotional or physcial abuse involved. I’m lucky enough to have the most amazing fiance and spending all that extra time with him in 2020 has been amazing; but I’m divorced and so I know a lot about the stresses of a toxic relationship.
By hook or by crook, you’ve made it and 2021 is right around the corner. Sure, the pandemic is not yet over and in some parts of the world it feels never-ending, but that doesn’t mean that things aren’t looking up. It’s a whole new year, and the opportunity is now here to call in the divorce solicitors and choose you this year. You chose necessity in 2020, but it’s time to now take a leap of faith, get your ducks in a row and get into what makes you happy, because you deserve nothing less.
Choosing yourself in 2021 means that it’s time to finally examine what’ll make you happy and grab it with both hands. You need to know what aspects of your life you need to change to make it better. Is it a new job? Leaving a bad relationship? Moving to a new home? Writing down whatever it is that will spark your happiness will help you to focus on it and go after it. You need to think about where you would like your life to be by the end of the year – pandemic or not – and go for it. There is nothing wrong with feeling afraid of change either. Fear normally means that you have something to lose, but in this case, the only thing that you have to lose is simply something you’ve known for a long time. We tend to find comfort in the familiarity of life, even if that familiarity is a bad situation. You need to have faith that getting out of a bad relationship, for example, and entering the unknown brings the possibility of happiness and gives you hope. Things won’t get better by standing still.
Whether you stay in an unhappy relationship or make that break, you are going to be heartbroken either way. Would you rather feel heartbroken on your own terms, in your own home and without the stress of an awful relationship, or do you want to continue as you are? I know what I’d choose and experience has taught me that, OMG, getting out of a bad marriage will be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
A new year gives you the chance for a new start. You get to turn the page and write a new chapter, and that chapter can be filled with anything you want. Spending lockdown cultivating a new passion and being happy is so much better than spending lockdown in misery. Misery doesn’t just come from a bad relationship, either. It comes in many different forms – a toxic boss, a friend who constantly drags you down etc – and you deserve to be happy.
If you want to find freedom in 2021, then it’s time to put yourself first and choose the things that you want in life. Making them happen doesn’t have to be hard – you just have to take that crucial and scary first step.
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